RJM House Alumni Spotlight
Nicholas Kierstead
“I lay here in my own bed, in an apartment I share with my loving girlfriend and her two beautiful children. I lay here in my own clean clothes, hair still wet from a nice warm shower. I lay here with a smile on my face. I lay here with peace of mind. I lay here sober. I lay here...and it's hard to remember a very real time where almost two years ago I would have traded everything I just mentioned for a park bench, or spot in the hall at the homeless shelter. A time where nothing seemed possible. A time where hell ascended to engulf me everywhere I went. I can hardly remember that time...but the wreckage from that shipwreck is still splintered about like tinder sticks, constantly pointing to what once was.
My name is Nicholas Domingose Kierstead and I have been clean and sober, by the grace of God, since January 31st of 2019. After many bouts with varying stints of recovery I landed on the doorsteps of RJM in the middle of the night a lost soul. The depths of the pain that washed over me like a hurricane were truly bottomless. RJM, quite simply, saved my life. Not only did it give me a place to live, but it gave me gifts money just can't buy. It is within the home of RJM where I learned who I was for the first time. It is within the home of RJM where I learned how to love other people. It is within the home of RJM where I was encouraged and helped to sort out the things in life which are most important for me. It is within the home of RJM where I learned people care. I laughed, I cried, I swore, I fought, I laughed again and I cried some more within the home of RJM. After a year of residency I am proud to say I have outgrown the nest and have since gone out on my own. Although I am more proud to say that despite having moved on I am still RJM family.
Today I am a son, a brother, a boyfriend, a friend, an employee, a legal driver (emphasis on legal). Today I get to pay my bills and pay my taxes. I'm a member of society, one that you wouldn't be afraid to run into on the street, and I am so thankful. Without God, the program of alcoholics anonymous, and all the people who make up the RJM family, none of this would be possible.”
Richard McNamara
“Hi, My name is Richard. I have been enslaved for 25 plus years into the world of addiction. Basically, alcohol and drugs have been making and calling all the shots in my life. Every thought and moment has been focused and centered around a drink or a substance. Living life with all my attention focused on addiction has brought me to many dark and lonely places.
Living in cars, abandoned buildings, not having anybody or a safe place to rest my head. Which brings me to how I landed at the RJM House. I was about to lose this battle. I was tired and beaten down and contemplating taking my life. I was so sick physically, mentally, and spiritually that I thought it was my only way out - emotionless and not being able to feel anything it seemed that would be logical. Thanks to a phone call and a moment of a divine act of kindness I found some help. I ended up at the Farnam Detox and from there to Farnam North, a 30-day treatment program. While in that program, my counselor introduced me to the idea of a sober house. At this point, I had been to many of them and I would always return back to my old ways, so I was not so interested in her suggestion at first.
Eventually, I gave in and was willing to give it a chance. She then explained that there was an application to fill out to get accepted into the RJM House. I was thrown back because every other sober house I have been in was more concerned with the deposit money and not the individual. I was pleased with the thought, but also nervous. So, I filled my application out and waited to hear back, and I did, but I had one more obstacle and that was a phone interview.
I explained why I would be a good fit and asked questions, and I was accepted. My turning point started the day I moved in. They were more concerned about how I was doing and assured me that I would be okay and if I needed anything to just ask. That was May 4, 2020.
On that day, I began my journey to learn how to live life sober one day or even sometimes one minute at a time. Through the alcohol anonymous big book and the step work accompanied with living in the RJM House with men from all walks of life, I have learned that accountability is the highest form of love you can show for another alcoholic or addict.
I have learned how acceptance plays an intimate part in my sobriety, the men also have guided me to my understanding of a higher power, coupled with a spirituality that I too could live happy, joyous, and free from my old ways. The big lie that addiction has been telling me for over 25 years.
Today, I live a life where my core values are aligned with spiritual principles and acceptance of all things in my life that I have a purpose and my life has meaning.I used to walk around living just as a human with no purpose to be fulfilled. Today, I am a spiritual being living happy, joyous, and free from the bonds of my past and my addiction. Thanks to all the men at RJM and the twelve and twelve. I am free!!!!!”
Jonathon Egan
“I came to RJM a confused and broken young man. RJM gave me serenity, purpose, and freedom from the bondage of my addictions through accountability, structure, and spirituality. As a result, today I LIVE life not just exist in it. “
Felix Aroyo
“I’m so deeply grateful to Andy Moser for asking me to write a short bio for the RJM Alumni Spotlight this month because I feel great and am no longer full of fear about anything and everything. In just 18 months of sobriety, I find myself and my life like the Big Book says in the promises, “We will be amazed before we are halfway through. We will no longer regret the past nor wish to close the door on it. We will find that no matter how far down the scale we have gone our experience can help others”.
My experience here at RJM House has taught me how to not only maintain sobriety, but to live a happy and purpose filled life. The men here in leadership pulled me out of my isolation. My depression held me accountable for my recovery. All residents here must have a sponsor, join a homegroup, find a service position, and attend meetings on a regular basis. Through this process I was able to work a twelve step program in an encouraging, supportive, and safe environment, and also be held accountable when I fell short as we all do.
I have a life second to none and have found a way to live happily without drugs and alcohol. I have repaired relationships and made amends for harm done. My work on these things is far from done, but today I can hold my head high knowing I am a responsible, caring, and kind soul who is a genuinely happy and productive person. I no longer dread tomorrow and all its woes, but embrace and look forward to the challenges and opportunities of the day.
I would like to thank my friends and brothers at RJM for helping me along this wicked pissah road I’m traveling on today. I would also like to thank all my friends and fellows in the program of Alcoholics Anonymous, and the most thanks to my family and my sister, Carole Marcellino, for never giving up on her little brother. We do recover.”
Jason Pelletier
“I couldn’t stay sober for 24 hours; drugs and alcohol completely ran and destroyed my life. After many failed attempts at recovery I wanted to die, I felt I had no purpose. I almost gave up. I had lost everything I ever dreamed of and everything I had. My soul was empty. I went back to treatment on October 3rd, 2019 for what I truly believed to be my last chance and fully surrendered.
Today I love my life; I have friendships, real friends, a full-time job with a lot of responsibilities, and I talk to my family everyday. I have my own apartment, and just bought a truck on my own. And more importantly, I am a man of my word. Today, I have purpose and a smile on my face.
RJM showed me the path to real recovery, gave me a solid foundation, and showed me what it really means to live life and be happy. It showed me that I wasn’t alone. I am grateful for all my struggles because they made me the man I am today.
I no longer wake up wanting to die. Today, I have purpose. I owe all of this to my higher power, the 12 steps, and the fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous (AA).”
Kyle Wedge
“I was lost, scared, and consumed by fear. I had no willingness to live life, adult, or face any responsibility. I had been in and out of jail for the last decade, and became resentful towards everyone and everything. I blamed everyone for my unfortunate childhood and upbringing, and was never ok with who I was or ever felt accepted anywhere. I was in and out of drug treatment and without the willingness to change my behaviours, I was kicked out of every treatment.
I lost everything and everyone and no one would enable me. I became homeless and stranded. Then the RJM House came into my life and offered me a bed. It was my only option at the time, as no one would take me in. The RJM House saw my potential and offered me a scholarship, though I hadn’t worked in 10 years nor done anything positive. At the time, I wanted to go back to treatment to avoid work. However, I eventually decided to stay and surround myself with the winners.
I looked at my life and realized I wanted to live and change. I was shown how to be a man of recovery. I was taught how to love; how to accept and let go of all my pain. I regained my confidence and self respect, and became the leader that I was always meant to be.
Today, I help others while they all help me. I walked through the fear and came out on top. Today, I am loved and love myself. I have been gifted so much; I get to be a man, father, brother, son, and a friend.
Sober living has changed my life forever and the connections I have made are real. I found what I was always searching for in sober living: a family. I am extremely grateful for so much today.”
Erik Fifield
“Hello, My name is Erik and I’m an alcoholic addict. My addiction stemmed from a sudden change in my life as I moved to a different school after my parents divorce when I was 13. It was difficult for me to fit right in with others. Anxiety and depression became a problem and I found a temporary solution in drugs and alcohol.
For about 20 years, my life was numbing any and all feelings. I relied on drugs and alcohol for good days and bad. It started controlling my everyday actions and completely changed me as the man I was raised to be. I sacrificed so much to feed my addictions. I hid a lot of pain. So, I did something that I struggle to do still to this day at times: ask for help from others.
I’m a very stubborn and independent person and felt that nobody wants to help me with my personal shit. They have their own to deal with, right? And that’s the case most of the time, but not all the time. Believe it or not there are people out there that actually thrive on helping others, but you won’t know unless you ask. You reach out for help. It wasn’t easy but I finally swallowed my pride and did it. I went to a treatment center for 8 months and learned so much. I learned how to ground negative emotions without a fix. I learned to forgive and move on. Life is too short to be unhappy. To live in the moment. The past is the past, don’t let it determine your future.
After treatment, I was afraid to go back out and still receive the accountability that I was held to in treatment so I decided to move to the RJM House in Manchester, NH. This was one of the best decisions I made. I was able to get back to work and slowly move back into society but also held accountable to the everyday practice of what I’ve learned in treatment. I met a great group of people and built a sober community that can’t be broken. These individuals are here to help me when I’m struggling and need someone to talk to. As long as I’m willing to reach out. To all the addicts out there, there are people out there that WANT to help. You need to ask and want it. It’s a life changer. I’m 373 days sober today and living a life I never thought possible. Thank you Avenues Recovery Centers and RJM House for the support through my struggles. I love everyone. Be you, be strong, be better. Look forward, aim high, and go after it. One day at a time. LETS GET IT!!”
Derek Schumacher
“I’m Derek, an alcoholic. I had tried getting sober four times with treatment, but this last time was different. I had been beaten into a state of reasonableness, and was ready to try something new. I was tired of being stuck in the cycle of using, in and out of jails, hospitals, and being homeless. I decided to give treatment another shot. From Connecticut, I went off to Manchester. I got kicked out of my IOP because I wasn’t growing, and I wasn’t accountable. Andy & the RJM House took a chance on me. Andy is a man who not only runs a solid house, but someone who actively works the program. He held me accountable, and was a prime example of Alcoholics Anonymous and the lifestyle of recovery. Not only was he a house manager, but he was a leader; through holding myself accountable, and being able to admit when he was wrong, he led the way. He showed me the ways in which I could shed my past through small actions; acts of kindness. I hope you’re able to find what I’ve found.”
Jon Grover
“RJM House has played a key role in helping me establish myself as a person and my success with my sobriety. This house has provided me with care, love, and understanding that helped me on my journey of recovery; most importantly, the level of accountability that I desperately needed to help me with my next step in life. They guided me to a program that helps me live a life free of substances, and helps me on a path in finding my true self. They have always been there for me with love and when times were hard they were also there with the same love. I cannot say enough about how important RJM has been for me. I will always be grateful for Andy and the men of RJM House.”
Ray Smith
“The path I was on was leading me to certain death, but after many years of using I had finally reached out for help. RJM HOUSE showed me a different and more rich way of life. The people there were able to help me get through so many things; I felt like I was a part of one big family. Some of the key things the men at RJM helped me with are stability, structure, and responsibility. In my experience, you are never alone at RJM House. There is a better way.”
Daniel Kirks
“I started using drugs and alcohol at 17 years old. At that time it was experimentation, having fun with older people in my band, fairly normal as far as I knew. I tried opiates and immediately knew I liked the feeling produced. The same thing happened with my first drink of alcohol. For the next 24 years I fell into the depths of addiction and depression and all the other things that come along with them. I knew I wanted out, but I didn't know how. Many times I told myself that I wouldn't drink, then I'd suddenly change my mind. My track record shows that when I drink I will eventually push all those who care about me far away. I tried geographical change, measuring drinks, and some abstinence but the day would always come when I would drink again and that track record would continue.
In 2017, I entered my first residential treatment program in MA. I was able to stay sober for the month I was in treatment but I drank the day I returned home. Over the next two years, I would learn about AA and the 12 steps. I found that there was a solution, a way out. I had some trouble surrendering to the process even though I wanted to. Finally, at the lowest point in my life, I made a decision and went with it. On February 25th, I woke up sober in a program in NH. I completed the 12 step residential program for the fourth time and have remained sober ever since.
After completing that program I was faced with a choice to either move to an apartment alone or go to sober living. I moved to RJM House in Manchester, NH. Little did I know this would be a move that would save my life. At RJM, I was met by floor captains that truly cared how I was doing. They held accountability meetings every week, and I found a community of men that I felt a part of. I was able to help other men and was able to be helped by them. The culture there has a grow or go mentality. This helped motivate me to grow in my recovery and life. I lived at RJM for 12 months. My life has changed, I have changed. I saw other men get their driver's license reinstated after years of being revoked. I saw men regain meaningful relationships with their children and family. I saw men walk through the fear of changing their career path and take new jobs in a field they never thought they would enjoy. RJM is where "people go to get sober". Today, I have a close relationship with my family. Today, I support other people in and out of recovery. Today, I woke up sober and God willing, I'll go to bed sober.”
Gerrit BrouweR
“Hi, my name is Gerrit and I am a alcoholic. I've struggled with being able to stop using or drinking for a long time. I knew it was an issue when I was in high school. My friends and I would drink, and by the time everyone was asleep I would be going for longer. When everyone was done with drinking, I couldn't stop and kept hiding it.
I've tried to self will it many times which never worked long for me. I thought that joining the military would stop my using or drinking. I thought it would give me some discipline, but I quickly went back to drinking.
After the military, I tried going to a doctor to get onto Suboxone trying to quit. After that ran out I was right back to using.
I knew I couldn't do it on my own and was too ashamed to ask for help. I didn't know where to go until I landed myself in the hospital where someone mentioned going to treatment. I reluctantly said why not and went to treatment for two months.
After treatment, I was able to get a bed at RJM. There I learned about the 12 steps, met my future sponsor, and met an amazing group of men who showed me that I wasn't alone.
I was held accountable for my own recovery, which definitely got me on the right track.
I am grateful for everything AA and RJM house has done for me. I am in a position in life now that I never dreamed of. RJM House was a stepping stone to guide me down the right path to my future in recovery.”